Featured Family of the Week: The Schoenecke Family

We would like to introduce to you our new featured family of the week, Bryan and Samantha Schoenecke.  

I'll let Samantha tell you a little about their story:

In the fall of 2011 when we had been married for about a year and a half, we both felt like God was speaking to us that it was time to begin having a family.  The timing didn't make complete sense as I had been having some health problems, and we thought that a move might be in our near future, but we trusted God that His timing was/is perfect.  By the summer of 2012, we had had 3 miscarriages and really began to pray about where God would have us go from there.  We saw a specialist wondering if maybe we should do some medical testing, but God made it really evident that we were not to pursue any further testing, at least for right now.  About this same time, a friend of a friend asked us to adopt her beautiful newborn son.  We said, "Yes!" and were so excited to welcome him into our family!  Sadly, after we had loved this sweet boy as our son for 11 days, his mom changed her mind and decided to parent him.  We were heartbroken.  Our time with him did really stir our hearts for domestic adoption though, and after much prayer, we began the home study process officially.  In November 2012, we were matched with a birth mom who was expecting a baby girl.  We spent many long hours getting to know her over the phone and over Skype.  We even made two trips across the country to visit her in person.  After two months, she let us know that she too had changed her mind about her decision.  Now we are waiting to be matched again, and hopeful that our next match will be our precious firstborn baby!  

Even though it has not been an easy journey, God has been so faithful!  This process has really strengthened our marriage and united us as teammates.  We've also both grown so much in our relationships with the Lord and are learning to place our hope in Him rather than in the hope of growing our family.

As the Schoenecke's wait for their match, let's show them love, dollar by dollar.

Failed Placement - Recovered Finances

Adoption is hard. When you are adopting domestically you may go through one match with an expectant mother (or more) before you are able to adopt.

In 2009, my husband and I had a failed placement when trying to adopt domestically. What that means is that, as the adoptive parents, we paid all of our legal fees once we were matched with an expectant mother up until the point of relinquishment. When the child's mother did not relinquish, our adoption was left uncompleted. We had spent approximately over $8,000 in legal fees with our lawyer (we were doing an independent adoption) as well as for our home study. 

Starting over with adoption is difficult after having a failed placement. We knew we had to keep moving forward, but financially, it was difficult as well. At an adoption seminar we attended after our failed placement, we were told by a coordinator that 50% of domestic adoptions would fall through before relinquishment due to the child's parents changing their mind. We thought to ourselves......how many times would this happen? And if so, how could we keep moving forward financially with spent legal fees after each match?

Luckily, we found out that we could recoup some of the funds we had spent on legal fees from our tax refund that year. I often hear of adoptive parents in a similar situation we were in that did not know this was possible. I am no legal or finance expert for sure, but I wanted to make you aware of an option that might work for you as well. Also, with all the chances to the adoption tax refund in recent years, this option might not still be available or available for long for some families. I think it is worth looking into, although, for families who have had a failed placement and may be able to receive some or all of their expenses refunded.

The IRS Form 8839 has additional information about qualified adoption expenses. Read the section under the heading, "Attempted Adoption of US Children." 

For more information about the adoption tax credit, see the IRS Adoption Benefits FAQ as well as the resources at Creating A Family.